Source: Narcissist woman who tried to tangle with me
Year: 2016
My age: 34
Normally it takes quite a while for a narcissist to show his or her true colors. The love bombing is immediate and they try to rush things in an attempt to get you involved past the point of no return as soon as possible but things usually have a pace and this last experience showed me that you have to be prepared for ANYTHING. No matter how much you know, no matter how much you've seen, you always have to be looking out for the signs, especially if you have a history of attracting monsters. It's crucial to understand that these creatures are chameleons and they will take the shape of whatever they need to in order for you to let them in. They have no true self so they will be whoever it takes for them to be so you let your guard down and they can get their narcissistic supply.
"Harriet" approached me in this public place that is full of very negative people. I go to this place for entertainment and for other reasons, I just keep to myself and have conversations with people who have a much better attitude. I'm widely known for being on of the few foreigners on top of being very easy to spot because I don't look like most people there. Knowing this, Harriet approached me and started a conversation. She appeared to be friendly and it looked like we had a lot in common despite more than doubling my age. I don't have a problem making friends of any age, why would I set such limits? A long conversation at this place led to the first red flag which I totally ignored.
In the following days she put up quite a show. She was pretending to get any food she could get her hands on to the homeless, relentlessly pet any stray dog she would see. She displayed so many traits that when natural would be great, when forced, they just seem creepy. I actually forced myself to ignore this and ignore the gut feeling I had about it by rationalizing it as me being paranoid since I'm trying to get over all these other people and that I had to give her some credit. While all this was happening, a lot of people around us (we kept going back to this place where she first approached me) seemed to have very negative feelings about her. Another "friend" of mine simply snapped and said "Never to that shrew" when I asked him to lend her his phone and later that day a redhead woman approached me and vissibly upset told me that "my friend" had whispered a violent threat into her ear as she got up (more red flags I ignored).
There's something quite eerie about seeing an older lady talk to waiters in a sweet way with the tone while her words are condescending at best or demeaning and humilliating at best all because of minor trangressions such as not bringing extra napkins, creating drama out of things as simple as ordering pie and coffee, often resulting in managers being forced to comp the check. Retaliation would come from taking the waiters' side of course. It is so true what is said about people who disrespect wait staff. Unless something is really wrong with your meal or a particular waiter, you have to run away from anyone who does not respect the work of someone who's serving them.
I was tangled by this woman's love bombing and her charitable act towards the homeless people to whom she fed leftovers. I chose to ignore the warning signs, I didn't bring down all my boundaries and that saved me. This woman went back home a couple of months ago. She was visiting this week. Her act was gone, I was on the receiving end of all her antics. Projecting, demeaning words, lack of empathy, total psychopath behavior. I was left flabbergasted but I walked out mostly unharmed. I'm just gratefuk I only let her in so far, and even within those limits she was way over the top and I should have stopped it earlier.
