Relationship length: A few months
My age/ his age: 22/ 21
This should have been a sign to just bail completely. It was at the very early stages of my relationship with my ex. Unfortunately he had also been my best friend for a number of years at that time. It was a horrible thing that turned my already sensitized stomach (NPD father too) inside out and made me experience REAL heartbreak for the very first time..
An important thing is to understand that my ex and I had a 5 year history as friends and eventually best friends. After I had moved to another state for a year and lost contact with him (since he was too busy with his victim at the time), my dad blackmailed me into moving back home and working with him. It took a few months after my return for me to be able to reach him, all his phone numbers had been changed. One day at a diner I ran into this sweet girl (different one) who had dated him and for some reason (maybe he still used her as a backup) she had his updated number and she gave it to me. I called him almost right away, he had no idea I was back but he was happy to hear me. We rekindled our friendship right away.
While in the process of readjusting to my return, I hung out a lot with this other friend. He had a bunch of different types of friends but there was this goth-ish girl that I really liked. For the purposes of this let's call her Wanda. The truth is that Wanda had a bigger crush on my friend than she could have ever had on me, he didn't feel the same way though. I still told him how I felt and he was OK with it, so he made a point of having me go to all the places where he knew she would be. One of those days I was hanging out with my friend, Wanda, and their group. We were having a really good time and Wanda was actually warming up to me. Out of the blue, my ex (who was still just my best friend) called me, he wanted to hang out. These two friends of mine hated each other but I wasn't about to be leaving Wanda and the group when it seemed she was starting to have feelings for me. The only way for us to hang out would be for him to join us, which he did. My other friend didn't last long with him there but other than that the night was pretty uneventful. The only lasting thing was that my ex now knew the name and face of the girl that had me talking so much about her.
Soon after that night my ex and I were hanging out at this lounge bar which had become a thing for us. Even as friends we were by ourselves a lot, we didn't really like each others' friends too much. It had become a habit that I'd leave work with dad on Friday (until 7 or 8pm) and until then he'd hang out with his gang. As I left work I'd call him, he'd part with them and we would meet at this place we liked so much. One of these times he was acting strange, but it didn't bother me. He was extra charming and flirty. I thought I was seeing things until he at one point made a move that was clearly romantic. I was shocked but I had nothing against this. I went along with it but didn't make any moves of my own in case I was mistaken. Through the following weeks we both started trying to gauge each others' reactions and thoughts. Our thing started becoming very clear. Our relationship progressed at a pace that was probably way slower than he wanted but I was really insecure and losing my friend if I messed up.
Months later as we were having our ususal Friday night drinks together he got very serious out of the blue. I got scared and asked him what was going on. He said he had to tell me something and I had to promise I wouldn't get angry. I figured there was very little at that point he could do to make me angry (I was naive enough not to suspect cheating). He very coldly told me that it was about Wanda (who I stopped seeing completely after he made his move). He said it had happened a couple of months prior and that he was very sorry. He said it wasn't a big deal and it only happened once. He had called her (I didn't even think he had her number) and they went for coffee and ended up at his place. It had never happened again he said. I was distraught, the combination of having him with someone else and that being with a girl in whom I had been interested. I didn't say much for the rest of the night. We left the place and the next day I went on a pre planned roadtrip to see family. I was destroyed inside and I experienced pain and anger I don't wish upon anyone. I didn't know what to do, dumping him seemed the right thing but that seemed more painful than what I was experiencing already. I hardly talked to him all weekend.
When I had returned to town the next Tuesday he asked to see me and I agreed. He came in and this time HE looked upset. I figured he would have to be extra apologetic. It was really sick to think that he'd be the one who was upset but well, that's NPD isn't it. He started taling with his usual arrogance in these situations and he said. "You failed miserably, I can't believe it, I never called Wanda, I wouldn't do that I was testing you, I wanted to see how you'd react in a situation like this and you suck. You ditched me all weekend for nothing, how can I trust you in the future?" I did defend my action a little bit but sadly I ended up apologizing. This is how sick he was/ is. As I said before, I should have ended it there as well but at that point I was hooked and losing hiom was more unbearable than putting up with these things. They really are a sick bunch.
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